High School Jokes

Some of the cheesiest jokes involving high school (and school in general) we found floating online. No apologies. We hope you like them. Go ahead, laugh. We won’t judge (much). If you’ve got a good one, send it our way.

A father very much concerned about his son’s poor grades in math decides to register him at a Catholic school. After his first term, the son brings home his report card: Perfect grades in math.
The father asks, “How did your math scores suddenly improve?”
“You know”, the son explains, “When I walked into the classroom, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew this place means business.”

At the start of an exam, the proctor (the guy watching everyone take the exam) says, “You have exactly two hours.”
Two hours later, the proctor announces, “Time’s up, ladies and gentlemen.”
One student hands in his paper 15 minutes after the proctor collects papers in a large stack. The proctor refuses to accept it.
“Do you have any idea who I am?” says the student with a bit of swagger.
“No,” says the invigilator.
“Great,” says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise…

High school is like the “Hunger Games” and may the curve be ever in your favor.

How do bees get to school?
By school buzz.

How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints.

How many freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None, it’s a sophomore course.

I would do my math homework, but I’ve already got my own problems.

If school isn’t a place to sleep, then home isn’t a place to study.

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, “Only take one. God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

Name a bus you can never enter?
A syllabus

Newtons Fifth Law: Performance of the boys in the exams decreases when the number of girls in the exam hall increases.

Son: My math teacher is crazy.
Mother: Why?
Son: Yesterday she told us that five is 4+1; today she is telling us that five is 2 + 3.

Teacher: How can we keep the school clean?
Student: By staying at home.

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
The student had detentions for a week.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Patrick: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Patrick: The one that says, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow.’

What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
“You can count on me.”

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.

What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
The thesaurus.

What do you call the leader of an AP biology gang?
The nucleus.

What do you get when you cross Chem AP and junior year?
Sadness.

What does a school and plant have in common?
STEM.

What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.

What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate?
Sky diving school.

What’s a bus you can never enter?
A syllabus.

When do you need to climb the ladder?
To get to high school.

Where can you find a giraffe learning?
In high school.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent pee.

Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.

Why can’t you do your calculus homework on a Friday night?
Because you can’t drink and derive.

Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?
They required an orientation.

Why did the freshman eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Why did the freshman eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Why did the period tell the comma to stop?
It was the end of the sentence.

Why did the student take a ladder to school?
He was going to high school.

Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window?
He wanted to see time fly.

Why didn’t the fish go on vacation?
Because he was always in school.

Why didn’t the freshman go to the pirate movie?
Because it was rated arrr.

Why do calculators make great friends?
You can always count on them.

Why do people do homework?
Because it doesn’t know how to do it itself.

Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.

Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they’re all in high school.

Why was the geometry book sad?
Because it had too many problems.

Why was the music teacher not able to open his classroom?
Because his keys were on the piano.

Why was the teenagers report card wet?
It was below C level.

Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
She couldn’t control her pupils.